Archive for July 31st, 2007
Winning With People #7 – The Exchange Principle
Targeted Audience: Entrepreneurs, Students, Recent Graduates.
Background: Renowned leadership expert and author John C. Maxwell describes how anyone can improve his or her relationship skills with 25 principles in his book Winning With People.
I plan to cover each of his principle in this series. Please read more principles here: Winning With People
John Maxwell’s The Exchange Principle
Instead of putting others in their place, we must put ourselves in their place. When we fail to see things from the perspective of others, we fail in our relationships. To become better at making the exchange, at seeing things from another person’s perspective, do the following:
Leave “your place” and visit “their place.” Do whatever you can to change your perspective. Listen to people’s concerns. Study their culture or profession. Read in their areas of interest. Or literally visit their place.
Acknowledge that the other person has a valid viewpoint. People’s belief systems and personal experiences are diverse and complex, and even if you do work to see things from another person’s point of view, there will still be differences of opinion. Working to find the legitimacy of another person’s point of view stretches your thinking.
Check your attitude. It is always easy to see both sides of an issue about which we are not particularly concerned. It is much harder when we have a vested interest in it. When that’s the case, we are often more concerned with getting our way than connecting with others.
Ask others what they would do in your situation. The key to the exchange principle is empathy. When you have empathy with others’ points of view, it becomes much easier to connect with them because they know that you care.
I personally started practicing this Exchange Principle in my life quite frequently. Believe me, its definitely not an easy game. You need very conscious efforts and calm thought process to win the argument or to negotiation the deal in your favor using this principle.
Especially first three suggestions are as hard as they sound effective. Leaving “our” place, acknowledging that other person is right, and checking “our” attitude directly questions our capability of open mindedness and asks us to leave our ego. And that’s where it becomes harder. But with our conscious efforts, its possible to act on Exchange Principle and win the deal.
Have a winning week ahead!
To read more principles from this series, please visit: Winning With People.
